Things That Scare Me

Look! A long post! Enjoy!

---

I’m an irrational person. A lot of things tend to scare me. I like to pretend I am tough, and brave, and awesome giving mortal form, but really I’m just a paranoid person with a dark sense of humor and the mentality of a five year old. And so I figured I’d give you a sample of some of the things that scare me.

First of all, I have issues with the dark. Not like dark-dark, but what lurks in the dark. I don’t mind the dark that much. I prefer it, honestly. I’d like a nice dark room to blinding sunlight any day. No, it’s the monsters in the dark, probably under my bed that freak me out.

How is that not scary?

If that doesn’t scare you, picture this. You’ve been sleeping. You’re pretty secure in your world. It’s quiet, dark, and peaceful. Suddenly, you’re jolted out of sleep with an unquenchable thirst. You need water, and you need it frakking now. So you get up to get water, not paying attention, and drink it.

You feel something going on with your feet. Namely, you can’t feel them. Suddenly, you’re dragged under the bed and the monster chews your soul up and leaves you a soulless husk to rot under your bed for eternity.

Great job.

That’s why I run from my door to my bed. No monsters are getting me, okay?

---

The second thing that scares me is spiders. You walk into your room and see this.

What do you do? I’d scream, run in the opposite direction and starting light crap on fire. Fire. They all deserve to burn. Burn in righteous, beautiful, cleaning fire.

The third thing that scares me is the metro. If you read my metro post, you’ll know that I had…a few issues. Namely, it tried to trap me in its unholy depths forever and ever. Luckily, I had a friend to save me from that fate, and money when it tried to trap me again.

However, my real paranoia is the exit machine. In normal circumstances, it is simply something to ensure they get paid. A machine where you stick in your fare card and the orange triangles part ways so you may walk through.

However, ever since I was young, I imagined it would close on me and squish me. So I decided the only way to protect myself was to run through the triangles as fast as I could. So I would shakily put in my card, take it out and run through like all hell has broken loose. Furthermore, I always wait till it is closed, to ensure it doesn’t close early on me.

This fear is also associated with the metro doors.

---

A fourth thing that scares me is homeless people. Again, an irrational fear, but all of these are. They sit there screaming things and while most of them are bound to be harmless, I live in a big city. That silly, crazy old man down the street? He’s also on FBI’s most wanted. For murder. Yeah.

So yeah. Four things that tend to freak me out. You can safely assume I’m nuts. But…I prefer to think of myself as a survivor. By being cautious, I will live. When mutant spiders rise up, I will burn them all. When the monsters under your bed turn you into a mindless husk, I’ll be safe in my bed with a flamethrower. When you’re being chewed up by metro, I’ll be walking or driving or taking a bus. With a flamethrower. And when you’re being stabbed to death by that guy on the corner who you gave change to (All money has tracker chips. That’s how they find you.) I will be there.

With a flamethrower.