A Comic Done in French Class

Rae (You know the one, I mention her sometimes.) had said something about a meat dress, so I decided to make a little doodle about it. She found it to be amazing and -demanded- I redrew it and posted it. Since it was quick and easy, I went and did so. I apologize if it's not funny at all.


















Fin.

The Real Reason We All Survived...

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/12/year-kenny-loggins-ruined-christmas.html

If you don't get it, then copy and paste the above into your URL box thingy. You know how.

Semi-real post soonish. It was insisted I drew up the little comic I did and posted it. *Shrug.*

By the Way...

Friday was canceled due to boredom.

No excuse for Saturday. No Blog All Month thing for me. Too much work, since I have projects going, "OHHAIAZU." and ambushing me. Spring Break starts in a week, so it's a plus.

That, and I've been busy with Pokemon and my Pet Journal. So, here. Have a dragon.

Protecting One's Self From Tornadoes

I am fairly sure there is something wrong with my brain. Especially when my brain is trying to make me sleep because I had soda late at night and didn't realize caffeine doesn't actually kick in and affect me until I was trying to sleep.

So after spending a few hours attempting to sleep, I was woken up to the sound of all hell breaking loose. Blearily look out the window and see the following:


To be fair, my brain may have imagined the lightning. Anyways, our window was wide open, there's hail pounding our windows, rain is screaming down and the trees are shaking and ready to fall over. There's a good chance things were on fire.

My brain put all of this together and came up with the fine idea that this was a tornado. My imagination kicked in, and thinking as hard as it could to protect me from the demonic tornado coming for me



It came with the following conclusion. Obviously, the best way to protect myself would be to close my window. It never occurred to me that A. This wasn't a tornado and B. Closing the window would do absolutely nothing to protect me.

I must've guessed the second, because for extra safety, I threw on another blanket. I felt totally fine and safe from that tornado. It could go destroy other things. I was safe.

Demon Tornado: Zero, Azu: One.

A Not Really Exciting Post

I will post every day in this month!

Pity Math killed my creativity. So here, have a haiku.

Azu is lazy
So this post is a fail post
Not much we can do.

Azu's Top Ten Song List (Part Two)

Day Five or something. Already lost track. But ha, when do you people care about dates and stuff, right?

Right?

Onto the music!

Number Five
Cold as Ice by Foreigner
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_1XdSqBQUg

In the live version (Which is on my iPod. Youtubing the live version was sadly dissatisfying.) it starts out, "I believe I need a little something...cold as ice." There's just something about that line I really like. I dunno. I'm weird like that. But this song is one of those I tend to start my playlist off with, just because it's a real good song to start my morning off with. Fun to hum along with. Even if I get weird looks.

Number Four
My Last Breath by Evanescence
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7LexNBv0mI

Another awesome song to hum along with. I've always liked Evanescence (Can't spell it.) It's one of those bands I remember from my childhood, (Even if I'm still young. Details, details.) that I loved to sing along too. My only huge issues was an inability to pronounce it.

I said Ev-ne-nen-sence a few times, evan-nen-sence as well. Eventually I caught on. This is my favorite of their songs, as anyways. Just fun to sing along with, when I'm chilling in my room where no one can give me weird looks. Silly people.

Number Three
Don't Let's Start by They Might Be Giants
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvOVMxOTwqw

Guys.

Let's be honest. I think They Might Be Giants is amazing, alright? It seems no one these days knows of them (At least people I talk too. Well, one of my friends does. One. D:) and that makes me sad. Their music is quirky and yet, at times, deadly serious as well. And they have some songs where I question their sanity (Try Stick Your Hand Inside the Puppet Hand), and some songs where I think they just were making stuff up (Boat of Car.)

This is one of those odd, yet serious at points. I quote part of it:

"No one in the world ever gets what they want

And that is beautiful

Everybody dies frustrated and sad

And that is beautiful

They want what they're not and I wish they would stop"

Yeah.

Number Two
What About Everything? by Carbon Leaf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClW15gRkuoE

Putting aside the distressing fact some Doctor Who fans used this song to their advantage, this one makes number two just because, well hey. What about it? It's one of those songs that everyone should take when they have a bad day and go, "Screw it. Least I'm alive, right?" Carbon Leaf is an amazing band, if you ask me. This is one of their slower songs, but Life Less Ordinary (Which was also a choice for number two.) is one of their faster but still just as awesome song. This song really just brightens my day when I feel blargh.

And in first place, my favorite song ever:

Number One
Familiar Taste of Poison by Halestorm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHZKPYQnsmc

Man.

I love this song, guys. If my iPod ever plays it before I'm ready, I will switch to a new song and re-do my random list, just so I can listen to it when I'm in the mood. And when I do listen, I play it over and over several times before I finally allow my iPod to continue its shuffling.

I first heard it, picked up the lyrics, and found myself singing along. Went with it, and really enjoyed the song. Then more Halestorm was played, and well, rest is history. I really like Halestorm. Favorite band as it stands.

So there you have. My Top Ten favorite songs.

Runner Ups:

Sadly, I only have ten slots, and well...I had to pick and choose a lot. So these guys, while not on the ten, are still amazing bands and songs that I love. Check them out too, if you'd like.

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
Tainted Love by Soft Cell
Half Truism by the Offspring
All That We Needed by Plain White T's
The Best is Yet to Come by SR-71
Tail of the Sun by Stroke 9
Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult

Alright then.

-Azu

Azu's Top Ten List of Songs (Part One.)

Day Four.

Anyways, there's a varied amount of music I like, but these ten songs are probably the ones that just make my day whenever I listen to them. Look 'em up, maybe you'll like them and then we can do...I dunno, things and talk about music. Whatever.

Number Ten

The Final Countdown--Europe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tt_ro2aerQg

Do do do, do do dooo.
Oh yes. You know this.
Do do do do. Do do do do do dooo.

Yes! This song makes number ten, if only because come on. This one song is the song you CAN NOT properly sing to, unless you do the whole scat singy beginning part. It's just not the same either wise. Seriously. If you fail to do that part, you're just not getting the full effect. If you don't do it, try it next time. If you do, high five.

Number Nine
Skullcrusher Mountain by Jonathan Coulton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ryNJVreiY

There's just...something about this song. This video in particular. While I don't have it on my iPod, I definitely could listen to it over. And over. And over. It's very catchy, and a very quirky, amusing song. This guy also did Still Alive, for those of you who listen to that. And besides, who doesn't love the line, "And I'm so into you/But I'm way too smart for you."

Come on.

Number Eight
Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIz2K3ArrWk

I've had an odd relationship with Owl City. I really didn't like them at the beginning when they first became popular. Mainly it was because another of the songs, Fireflies, was played bloody everywhere. Drove me nuts. Of course, the song got into my head, and I found myself singing along.

And then, someone (*coughs.*) gave me a link to this song. Spent the next half hour listening to this song over and over. I really like this one, but it doesn't lurk on my iPod. Definitely a good song.

Number Seven
Never Too Late by Three Days Grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL2ZwXj1tXM&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TL1XYsbTlEzZg

I like this song. Another one that doesn't live on my iPod, but DC101, our local rock station, plays it all the time. So chances are, in a good few hour period, I'll get my Three Days Grace fix. This is one of those songs I've heard for a long time. It just kind of lurks in my memory, but I know it's there. And I like it. Sort of a familiar, comfortable song. You know?

Number Six
Letters from the Sky by Civil Twilight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wa7dFR09vU

Stars real frikking slow, but man does it pick up. I really like this song. It was played on the radio all the time, but then they stopped. Still, this is one of those songs I'll immediately recognize and warble (I've been told I can't sing. I don't think I'm all that bad...) In the end, I really do love this song. :3

So yeah. Part One of my Top Favorite Songs. Next batch, it gets real good as we hit number one in my favorite list. All time favorite too. Man, will it be hard to pick. Till then, check out a few of these, tell me what you think.

-Azu

Garlic Bread

(Third day and going strong!)

A few days ago, I had come to the conclusion that garlic bread would taste good in my lunch. After getting confirmation for this fact, I go about to my oven to turn it on and pre-heat it. The prior night, we had sausages, and used tin foil to collect the grease.

Well, as it turns out, no one threw away the grease foil.

After a few minutes, my brother starts screaming. We all run into the kitchen and see this:



My mom runs for the fire extinguisher, has it ready and....

Nothing. It doesn't go.

So, I, panicking, start screeching, "WHAT DO I DO." My mom commands me to wake up my dad. I run down the hall, yelling, "DAD! THE OVEN IS ON FIRE." He doesn't wake up, so I try again. "DAAAAAD. FIRE. FIRE. OVEN. ON FIRE."

He leaps awake, and tears down the hall like a Spartan who was just told this was madness and he had to inform them it was, in fact, Sparta, not madness.

By this point, I'm cowering in the living room, hoping nothing traumatic has happening. This is my image of the oven.



Finally, all must be well, and he goes back down the hall. I look at the fate of my garlic bread, and it's covered in fire extinguisher powder. Just lightly snowed upon. My mom looks at me, and says, "Right. I wouldn't eat that."

And that's how, at 7:30 in the morning, I lit the oven on fire.

-Azu

Day Two...

...of Blog Every Day in April Month.

So. Uhm. I guess today's topic can be Pokemon. I'm an avid fan still, love the game. Something about running around, stuffing pixels animals into balls and then forcing them to kill other pixels is awesome.

Ironically, I never liked those little digital pet things where you feed it, clean up after it, play with it. Mine always starved. Also ironically, I was never a good caretaker of pets in real life...

...

Hm.

Anyways, Pokemon Black and White came out a bit ago, last month. So I picked it up half way through and started playing. I've stopped for a bit to pace myself, after breezing through it the first few days. Fifth gym badge.

Also Pokemon related, I offer this to you:

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/03/15/weirdest-pokemon-black-white/

Day Two! Done! Rae told me they didn't have to be long...

...

-Azu

Happy April Fool's Day, from All of Us at Critic-Er, Vital Madness

Big header is big. Sue me.

Long time, no post. I could go on about life and whatnot, or I can get to the stuff you actually care about.

SO.

Today, as some of you know, is April First in the U.S. Also called April Fool's Day. Essentially, you get to run around and mess with people without being beaten up. Like any good site, people like to mess with their viewers. So now, we're called Vital Madness instead of Critical Insanity and now there's a gryphon --One with a top hat!-- guarding the header.

Also, as Rae so kindly informed me, April is supposedly "Blog Every Day in April" month. Let's see how long I last, huh? So the next following month should prove to be interesting, if anything.

So. Uhm. Yeah. Nothing too exciting beyond a nice new shiny header. I'll keep it up for a bit, then go back to the old CI dragon.

-Azu

Stupid Fight

*nonchalantly posts.*

We just finished eating dinner, and I'm casually drinking my sprite, my sister is casually eating her TurkeyLoaf. (Trademarked.) We begin talking. The following conversation ensures. (I'm using her screenname for security?)

Xastra: Did you know pineapples don't wear bathrobes?

Me: Yeah, but pears do.

Xastra: Did you know watermelons don't go on diets?

Me: Yeah. Did you know cantaloupe are part of the antelope family?

Xasta: Did you know rocks are part of the ock family.

Me: I think we just had a "Who can say dumber things" fight, and she just won.

That's...our family for you.

All for now. I know, I know, long time no post.

-Azu

Lolwut?

I'm not popular. Fashionable. Or anywhere near normal. I'm sitting in the back of the classroom, reading and listening to my iPod, and still acing the class. * I'm different. Thereby, I don't have a lot of friends. Those that I do have are amazing and I probably wouldn't trade 'em for anything. Except being the indisputable ruler of the world, but that's a whole different ballpark.

I mean, come on. Look at it.

Friends vs. Undisputed Ruler of the World.

Come on. Who'd stop to even think about that?

Anyways, on topic, we've had a lot of weird conversations. Amusing later. So...Here's a few I can easily remember. For their safety, all friends have internet names I call 'em by.


Me: *Eating chicken.* The crunchy bits are too hard. I can't eat them. *tosses them on the ground.*
Lyra: You're littering.
Me: Nuh-uh. I'm feeding the birds.
Lyra: I guess so-OH MY GOD. YOU'RE MAKING THE BIRDS CANNIBALS.
Me: Huh. I guess I am.
Lyra: Well, stop it!
Me: Nah. *keeps throwing chicken.*

---

Rae: You're not wearing socks again.
Me: I know.
Rae: What have I told you about not wearing socks?
Me: Look. It was a rush. Socks or waffles. I chose waffles.
Rae: Touche.

----

Fanana: We should have an avatar marathon sometime.
Me: Agreed. Wholeheartedly.
Fanana: That, at least, we can agree on.
Me: If I could make cake, I would make an avatar cake.
Fanana: We could try...
Me: This would end badly....Uhm. Make a circle.
Fanana: Make a circular cake with the element symbols on it.
Me: Draw a nose. And an eye. And the arrow. Wheeee! Or...take your method.
Fanana: I like mine better, but yes.
Me: Yours works better. Mine requires too much skill. I lack skill.
Fanana: Me too.
Me: Hmm...OR CUPCAKES. YES.
Fanana: AGREED!!!
Me: I AM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THESE CUPCAKES. I AM SPEAKING IN CAPS.

(If you're curious, we never did make these cupcakes...)

---

Fanana: Salutations.
Me: Congratulations.
Fanana: What?
Me: Considerations. Abominations. Calculations.
Fanana: Dominations.
Me: Californication.
Fanana: Red Hot Chili Peppers! (So sue me, I killed the rhyme.)

---

Lyra: Hey, luv. I like your fedora.
Me: Hiya! Thanks! :D ...You haven't seen it yet.
Lyra: I can see it from here.
Me: ...How? D: Are you stalking me?
Lyra: No. I just have powers you can't BEGIN to contemplate.
Me: ..../whines.
Lyra: I know. It might be hard to adjust to my glory and power.

---

Rae: Got to go, my mom is an asshat.
Me: Does that make her a buttcap?

Okay. That's all. I'll post another tomorrow for stuff.

-Azu

*Except math. I have issues in geometry.

Eh. Art Dump.

This was supposed to be the original Critical Insanity logo, but the print was too small for me, so you have the usual one. I also didn't like the coloring, so I ended up altering to just have the outline of the dragon. You know, just keep it simple. Complex = bad.


Little comic I drew. It amuses me. Essentially, if for some weird reason you've never played Pacman, you control a little blog and you run around eating dots. Occasionally, fruit will appear and you eat a lot of that. Well, I'd think Ms. Pacman would crave a nice, juicy burger every now and then.

WoW characters of mine. Azunara and Kozridormu. Yeah. I play World of Warcraft. Cenarion Circle ftw. Technically, Kozri isn't a character, more Azunara's mount, but that's technicalities I don't care about.

Okay. Just me putting up art. I'm feeling better at least. Ate some pizza tonight. Hopefully, more exciting posts soon.

-The Ever Amazing, Grand, Magical, Fantastical Azu.

Teeth

I have really bad teeth. Always have. I've adopted the nickname sharkmouth to describe my state.


Pretty scary, huh. Other things I've been called are as follows:

Lamprey:


Velociraptor:


Anyways, so what happened was after taking a trip to the Orthodontist in October, I was informed braces were necessary. This didn't appeal to me. Nonetheless, a few trips to the dentist later to have teeth pulled and I was back yesterday.

After X-Rays and quick run through of what was to happen, they stuck me in a chair.

The next forty-five minutes are hazy to me. I was trying desperately to find my happy place and ignore the fact they were gluing metal to my teeth, and then wiring it so they all pulled together. Kind of like a group hug.

Too bad I hate hugs.

There was one point where I got blinded by purple. I'll never know what they did, but it was like this:



Some say I'm over dramatic.

So yeah. I'm rambling now. This post makes little sense. Blame a healthy amount of my last solid food being waffles. I haven't eaten anything normal forever. It's just been mashed potatoes and soup!

Azu's Old Schedule:

Breakfast: Nothing

Lunch: Whatever I brought from home. Usually granola bar, yogurt, and whatever Rae gives me.

Dinner: Decent foods

Azu's New Schedule:

Breakfast: Popsicles
BRUSH TEETH NOAW OR DIE.

Lunch: Ramen
BRUSH TEETH NOAW OR DIE.

Dinner: Mashed Potatoes
BRUSH TEETH AND FLOSS. NOAW. OR DIIIIE.

Okay, I question the quality of this post. I'm stopping before it gets worse.

-Azu

New Header!

Valentine's Day is coming up and I figured I'd draw one for gits and shiggles. So I did. That's been ready since...early December, so I've had it waiting in the wings. And if you complain about it being early, February is in like...two days. And I figure I wouldn't have time, so yeah.

In other news, my finger was attacked by a wild piece of glass.

Let me explain.

Here I am, washing dishes when I see blood on my knuckle. Realizing this isn't a good sign, I wander over to my mom, clutching paper towel to my finger.

Me: Hey, Mom.

Mom: (Playing WoW): Huh?

Me: You apply pressure to a bleeding wound, right?

Mom: Uh....yeaaaah...

Me: Okay!

Mom: Run it under cold water.

So I flee down to the bathroom where I turn on the cold water. When I say cold, I mean it's freezing. Like someone took ice cubes and thawed them just a smidge above freezing so that it's water, but barely. Frikking cold.

So I'm alternating between applying pressure and chilling my hand, five minutes later it's still bleeding and my finger is now purple. Realizing this has potential to be SRS BIZNESS, my mom comes down and applies papertowel and medical tape.

Fast forward to tomorrow. A trip to the Nurse and I have a finger splint. I'm sitting there, in class with Rae, studying my finger that can't move.

Rae: Is that it?

Me: Yeah. Not pretty, but it's effective.

Rae: Okay.

Me: (Who has by now doodled a kitty face on it.) Look!

Rae: Can I sign it?

So Rae signs it as well as another friend of mine, and by the end of the day, several different people have signed my splint. Let it air out Saturday, and reapply the splint with new medical tape.

So, yeah. I'm alive, but typing is a pain.

---

Other things to know:

You may notice that I'm not wearing my brown coat in the above picture. Turns out it died, so when I asked my mom for a new one, she handed me a green trench coat. I've had it called awesome many times, received a fair share of weird looks, been called a terrorist once, and scared two or three people. I love my coat.

That's all, folks. I'll see if I can post more after I get braces and my splint comes off.

Song Lyrics

((Post dedicated to Rae, who got upset everytime I wrote a short post. She gets so excited, and then gets really disappointed when she finds out it isn't too long. Sorry, Rae. This one isn't long either. Soon!))

A few weeks ago, we decided to go out for breakfast. This meant getting up around tenish, not too bad, and getting in the car for an hour and a half drive. The drive to Roy Rogers was uneventful, if disappointing to our parents who remembered the supposed awesomeness of the place. Me? I was just glad to get food.

So after generous warnings if we so much as got a speck of grease on the new car seats, we would have fingers pulled off, the five us settled into breakfast. It was pretty good, I'll admit. Not the point.

Anyways, a song comes on. I don't know the song well enough beyond the fact that it shows up in the title credits of Yu Yu Hakusho. But it played the full length and ended with the following lyrics:

"Your smile makes my heart explode."

That stood out to me. It baffled me. What the hell? If I loved someone, I wouldn't want my heart exploding everytime they smiled at me! That's crazy! I even drew a diagram.

Just a few of my thoughts.

-Azu

Where in the World is Carmen San-er, Azunara?

(I wonder if this title breaches copyright. Can I get sued?)

Sorry for lack of posting. I've had midterms all week, and my body is telling me, "Oi! Azu! Stop RPing and watching Star Trek and get more sleep, man!" It's like this:

Body: *See above.*

Me: Look. We're fine.

Body: *sends headache.*

Me: Screw you, body. *stubbornly ignores headache.*

Body: *Headache grows worse.* SLEEP, DAMN YOU.

Me: NEVER!

Body: Screw you, I never liked you anyways. We're going to sleep, whether you like it or not.

Me: Nooo-Zzz. Snnoork. Zzz.

And in the end, that's why I can't stay up till 2 in the morning. Because my body says it needs to "recuperate" and "feel better."

So what does that mean for CI? It means less posts till I feel more rested. Plus, I get braces in...a week or two. So that'll keep me occupied. If I get Laughing Gased, that'll be an interesting post.

Yeah. That's it.

-Azu
(I drew this for a friend when I was bored. Seeing as I have nothing interesting picture wise to post...Here you go.)

Birds

Once upon a time, I couldn't draw. Now I can. Sorta.

So if you ever feel down, think of it this way. Practice makes perfect. Cause look at my old birds and my current birds.
Just sayin'.

-Azu

Three More Things That Scare Me

(New Post! This one is for Rae from "Listen to the Raen Fall..." She wouldn't stop bugging me till I posted something. Check out her blog. She's usually posting something awesome, and she has to be decent if I don't hate her, right? Right.)

As I’ve said before, a lot of things give me the willies. Scare me. Creep the everliving frak out of me. You know so far that spiders, homeless people, things under my bed, and the metro scares me. But that’s not all. There are a lot of other things that freak me out. Here’s a few more.

This one is less of a ‘Scary! Get it away!’ then a ‘WHAT THE HELL HAS JUST HAPPENED?!?!’ Let me explain. We got a cat recently. A twelve, thirteen week old brown tabby who may or may not be a Bengal that we named Dodger.

Dodger is a good kitty, except when she decides to attack me in the morning when all I want to do is play WoW. Or when she gets the brilliant idea that she will eat my hair.

It’s not Dodger that I’m talking about though. It’s her litterbox, and, namely: The air freshener on top of it. It’s one of those motion sensor ones. You walk by, it’s gives a ‘Ffft!’ of air and voila. Instead of smelling like crap, it smells like sea breeze.

Except I don’t like being caught off-guard by sea breeze.

Yeah. Imagine that happening every half hour.

Next thing that tends to get me panicky would be song lyrics.

WARNING: This may or may not be the stupidest, most irrational fear in the world. Yes, I am seeing a therapist. No need to ask. Now that you have been properly warned, let’s move on.

Singing songs that have, “And then I die…” or “Die for you….” Or anything where it’s first person singing about how they’d die, because then when I sing along, I’m singing those lines. Then I think some sick deity thinks I’m serious and will kill me. So I alter it quietly under my breath. Die becomes fly. Or rye. Or my.

A serious offender? American Pie. Instead of, “This’ll be the day that I die…” I sing under my breath, “This’ll be the die that I fly…” Because I’m irrational like that, and am paranoid. I don’t want this to happen:

Lastly, elevators.

They’re demon cages. You know how I said technology hates me? Well somebody had the brilliant idea to tell me if the cord snaps, the elevator will plummet and I’ll smash against the roof and break my neck. Painfully.

Despite being told this is impossible, it translates to EVERY bump on the elevator sends a rocket of fear through me. To the point where I will carry my mountain bike up three flights of stairs to get to my apartment…Three whole flights! That’s a lot of stairs, okay?

And if that elevator makes sound, it scares me as well. I freak out. Enter “OMG WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIEEE” mode.

Or, I think about getting trapped. So I starve to death, or suffocate, or die of dehydration, because I was trapped between floors and the elevator people decided to screw me over and the firemen were lazy. Or something like that. Maybe I forgot to push the panic button.

Alright. That's it for now.

-Azu, over and out.

Hint: It Has To Do With Snow

Sorry 'bout lack of posting. Math midterms cometh, and I may need a pinch of practice.

Here!

The answer: It's a polar bear blinking in a snowstorm.

Lying and What it Has to Do With This Blog

You remember how I said I'd have a decent post for you all today?

I lied.

You see, I started two different posts. I have the ideas, but I've been lazy and decided to browse forums and read Head Trip instead of writing a post. And then I spent a good couple of hours eating lunch and working on school work. Then I spent more time procrastinating, and ate dinner.

Now I feel sickish, and my stomach is weird, so I don't want to put in the effort. Plus, I still have math homework to do, and I should consider how I will deal with Midterms. Not too worried about them...But I also have a huge application test to consider, so all in all, I have to, and I quote, "buckle down." This translates into less fun, more work.

So.

I'll do what I can to post something exciting, I promise. Really. I try to update semi-frequently instead of disappearing, even if it is just to give you guys another "update" which really means crappy excuse.

Click the Shiny Buttons! Vote!

There's a poll up. Go vote.

In other news, I'll give you guys a big post tomorrow, promise.

Head's Up (Or, Updates on CI.)

Firstly: Is it wrong that I go to my own blog and expect new posts to magically be there, only to remember, "Oh, right. My blog. Lol." and realize I need to post crap?

Secondly: This isn't a long post. I'll work on one this weekend, but I've been busy with school. Midterms are coming soon to party and I still need to tackle geometry. But I'll give you guys something exciting this weekend, I promise.

Thirdly: We now have an "About" Page and a "FAQ". I haven't actually been asked these questions, but they seemed like logical enough questions to ask.

And Fourthly: Don't forget to...er...tell everyone you know about Critical Insanity? Maybe I can be famous and earn money and never have to get a real job and me nocturnal! Do you know how amazing that would be?

TL;DR: Chicken.

Things That Scare Me

Look! A long post! Enjoy!

---

I’m an irrational person. A lot of things tend to scare me. I like to pretend I am tough, and brave, and awesome giving mortal form, but really I’m just a paranoid person with a dark sense of humor and the mentality of a five year old. And so I figured I’d give you a sample of some of the things that scare me.

First of all, I have issues with the dark. Not like dark-dark, but what lurks in the dark. I don’t mind the dark that much. I prefer it, honestly. I’d like a nice dark room to blinding sunlight any day. No, it’s the monsters in the dark, probably under my bed that freak me out.

How is that not scary?

If that doesn’t scare you, picture this. You’ve been sleeping. You’re pretty secure in your world. It’s quiet, dark, and peaceful. Suddenly, you’re jolted out of sleep with an unquenchable thirst. You need water, and you need it frakking now. So you get up to get water, not paying attention, and drink it.

You feel something going on with your feet. Namely, you can’t feel them. Suddenly, you’re dragged under the bed and the monster chews your soul up and leaves you a soulless husk to rot under your bed for eternity.

Great job.

That’s why I run from my door to my bed. No monsters are getting me, okay?

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The second thing that scares me is spiders. You walk into your room and see this.

What do you do? I’d scream, run in the opposite direction and starting light crap on fire. Fire. They all deserve to burn. Burn in righteous, beautiful, cleaning fire.

The third thing that scares me is the metro. If you read my metro post, you’ll know that I had…a few issues. Namely, it tried to trap me in its unholy depths forever and ever. Luckily, I had a friend to save me from that fate, and money when it tried to trap me again.

However, my real paranoia is the exit machine. In normal circumstances, it is simply something to ensure they get paid. A machine where you stick in your fare card and the orange triangles part ways so you may walk through.

However, ever since I was young, I imagined it would close on me and squish me. So I decided the only way to protect myself was to run through the triangles as fast as I could. So I would shakily put in my card, take it out and run through like all hell has broken loose. Furthermore, I always wait till it is closed, to ensure it doesn’t close early on me.

This fear is also associated with the metro doors.

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A fourth thing that scares me is homeless people. Again, an irrational fear, but all of these are. They sit there screaming things and while most of them are bound to be harmless, I live in a big city. That silly, crazy old man down the street? He’s also on FBI’s most wanted. For murder. Yeah.

So yeah. Four things that tend to freak me out. You can safely assume I’m nuts. But…I prefer to think of myself as a survivor. By being cautious, I will live. When mutant spiders rise up, I will burn them all. When the monsters under your bed turn you into a mindless husk, I’ll be safe in my bed with a flamethrower. When you’re being chewed up by metro, I’ll be walking or driving or taking a bus. With a flamethrower. And when you’re being stabbed to death by that guy on the corner who you gave change to (All money has tracker chips. That’s how they find you.) I will be there.

With a flamethrower.

Just a Drawing

School picks up tomorrow and I'm feeling uninspired to write a full out post. Not to leave you all disappointed, I whipped this up. So whenever someone's birthday or Valentine's day or something rolls around, you can give them this.
That's all for now.